October 23, 2008 - Me and my Birthday Cake

Me ---- celebrating my 30th birthday!

Tatlong dekada na po ng buhay na punong puno ng saya, luha, takot, tuwa, kapayapaan at pag-ibig!

Thank you Lord for 30 years of good health, strong faith, wisdom, and unconditional love. A true love that comes from YOU alone. Thank you Lord Jesus that inspite all the hardships and trials I am still here standing in front YOU, loving you with all my heart, giving to you my life and my soul. You are my God. I love you Lord.

Thank you Lord for my parents! You know how I am longing for their hugs and kisses but you never fail to let me feel their presence in through people, my friends, siblings, officemates and most of all my boyfriend. These people Lord never fail to remind me that I am strong, I am loved and I am important. Thank you Lord for them.

Thank you Lord for all the blessings! You are my provider! I have enough supply and I know blessings are on their way. I know Lord the long awaiting gift from you will come soon very very soon. With my joyful heart I am excited to unwrapped that gift Lord!

My Birthday Cake ---- surprised from LOVE! ( kakakilig daw ba?)

This birthday cake was a surprise present from my bf almost 4000+++ miles away from here. He celebrated my birthday with friends as if he is here celebrating it with me. It so nice to feel that he is showing his thoughtfulness, his care, his sweetness and his love.

Love, I am really touch with your gesture. I told you I will post it in my blogs. As of this time I am not so sure if I can post your picture. You know I am a secretive person when it comes to my love life. My only prayer to God is to bless us both with all of our desires. Let us keep on praying for that Love, God is good. He will give us only the best.

My boyfriend ---- the chef of my heart for almost 8 months and counting!

He told me one week ago that he plans to celebrate my birthday after his work. He told me that he will ask his baker to prepare a cake for me or maybe he will prepare it himself. As of this time that I am writing this blog I haven't asked him who did the cake. It is the thought that counts. I can't imagine him celebrating my day knowing that he is so so far away from me. Thanks to the technology!

I even got mad when he is not yet online on our usual talk time early in the morning of Thursday! He said sorry for being late because he spent a time with his friends.

Finally, I decide to put his picture here. I am hoping walang manunukso lalo na sa office special mention si Archie at Sir Ryan, mga alaskador yan eh! Picture lang nya muna, other details to be revealed gradually as I am unwrapping the gift!

Last few words.... I am happy now!

This weekend my college friends Annie and Joyce will be sleeping over at my house with their lovely and cutie cute daugther Aia and Niki. Annie will cook her Special Chicken Menu daw... hehehe goodluck. I don't know with Joyce kung ano naman ang drama nya. Lily my twin sister will join us also because we will be watching some wedding CD's. I am excited for this event.

Month end, we will have a gathering also at Ms. E's house to celebrate din our birthdays. Ms E's birthday is October 27 tama ba? Most likely Archie will prepare my request, salsa and nachos.

November 1, this is my day with my siblings! We will spend the day together as we visit Mama and Papa. Most likely kainan ulit ito. I requested for Chopsuey courtesy of Ate Mary Rose kasi wala namang ibang magluluto kundi sya.

Teka yung last few words ko naging paragraph na...

Thank you! Thank you Lord!

October 20, 2008 - I miss my Mama and Papa

Three days before my birthday I should be happy but I am not. I miss my parents so much. I want to see my Papa and Mama in my dreams. I want to hug them tight. I want to be embraced by my Mama and I want my Papa to touch my forehead. How? Only in my dreams... only in my dreams...

I thought crying days are over but this very minute I do not know why i suddenly missed my parents. Oh my God.. am I in emo mode? Why? What triggered? I don't know.

Deep deep sigh! Roselyn get up.... brace yourself... cheer up... Smile! your parents are happy wherever they are. They are embracing you and comforting your heart. Your Mama is hugging you tight, she is putting her warm hand on your forehead as she massages your aching head. Your Papa is holding your hand and tickling your feet. They are embracing you Bunso! Don't cry....

Dont cry! Magagalit si Mama baka sumakit ulo mo. Did you take your medicines na, papaluin ka ni Papa. Keep calm Bunso.Mahal na mahal ka ni Papa at Mama

October 16, 2008 - Complicated Migraine - The first attack... and the LAST!

October 14, 2008

Typical day of work. Usual day than ever nothing special except that the next day is a pay day. I woke up right in time had a good breakfast with longanisa and rice. Packed some food for lunch. At 10 am I felt hungry I prepared oatmeal with milk and chocolate powder. Yummy yummy this is my favorite merienda especially when I am at the office where the temperature is so cold. I had my early lunch because I will attend the mass at Goodwill Building almost 50 steps away from our office. The weather is cool not so hot and not raining. Its definitely a very wonderful day until my head aches so badly. After my mass, I asked Kuya Archie to buy me Ponstan 250 because I can no longer bear my headache. I took one capsule of 250mg with the assumption that it will fade. Worst it does not it came to the point that I almost vomit. I am irritated for almost two hours, terrible headache, spasm, nausea and vomiting. Imagine all those feelings in one at a certain time. Whew!

I called my sister and tell her that I am having my migraine and asked her to go to my house because I will go home in few minutes. I decided to go home to take a rest. My MTC Family let Kuya Archie bring me home. Thank God because if not I dont know where I am right now. On our way home, I cant explain how I feel. I am floating, my head is like a balloon that is about to blow, my stomach is like a trumbling box with unexplained objects inside going at all directions, my mind is nothing. I cant say a word. I threw up on the car, again thank God someone from the office gave me a piece of plastic. After I threw up I am chilling, I remember Kuya Archie told me "Mam padala ka na kaya sa ospital". What I did I dialed the number of my brother I told him that we are on our way to the hospital and meet us there. Di ko rin alam kung saang hospital basta ang unang pumasok sa isip ko sa Quirino Hospital dahil yun ang alam kong pinakamalapit na madaling puntahan ng Kuya ko if he is coming from E. Rodriguez Ave. I almost faint when we are on our way. Sabi ni Kuya Archie he is asking how I am pero di na ko nagsasalita.

I know we reached the hospital but my brother is not yet there I told Kuya Archie, let us wait for my Kuya. I was rushed inside the Emergency Room and was given Plendil Flush ( ewan ko tama ba spelling). Still I am throwing up and the feeling is the same. My sister came, she is asking what happen to me. I dont know if I am responding to her questions. After several minutes that nothing happens to me at ER they decided to transfer me to St. Victoria Hospital in Marikina. My sister is holding on my body while I am on the cab. She said to the cab driver " Manong emergency mo na".

At St. Victoria the worst ever feeling that I had in my 30 years, the headache became worst, my left arm is numb, I am throwing up with nothing, then I cant remember the answers to the questions that the doctor is asking.

The doctor asked me if i had allergic reaction to medicine I said YES. He asked what medicine, I know it by heart because everytime I had encounter with a doctor I am religiously telling them that I had allergies on Ibuprofen, Advil, Alaxan and sometimes Paracetamol. Sa mind ko alam ko yun but I cant understand bakit di ko talaga maalala nung time na tinatanong ako ng doctor. Sabi ko pa pwede ba magsabi ka ng mga gamot sa sakit ng ulo. When the doctor mentioned Ibuprofen thats the time I said thats it. Then my sister asked me what did I eat prior to the attack, grrrrrrr weird di ko masabi ang oatmeal. Sabi ko pa daw kay Ate, "yung niluluto na pagkain, yung pagkain na niluluto" as in paulit ulit daw. Nag woworry na daw ang ate at kuya ko bakit sablay mga statements ko eh. Then another thing I told my brother to inform my boyfriend about my condition, he asked me what will he tell him, I said " LOBE" instead of Love. My gosh..... i am aware of all this. I know the words to say but when I utter the word its different.

I was admitted in the hospital after that incident and was under observation for 24 hours. Midnight I am still in pain, I am crying and chilling because I dont know what to do to ease the pain. My sister told me " wag ka na umiyak bakit ka ba umiiyak andito naman kami" My sister asked the nurse what pain reliever to give me in order to calm down. After I took the medicine I got a good sleep. I woke up its already early morning of October 15.

The neurologist explained to me what is complicated migraine, this is another type of migraine wherein the affected part of the brain is the sensory and the spatial. Try to visit this site so that you will understand more about migraine ------> http://womenshealth.aetna.com/WH/ihtWH/r.W===23/st.48340/t.48425.html.

Lessons learned iwas sa mga msg, chocolates, coffee, stress, sudden change of temperature, puyat at higit sa lahat mag relax. Guilty ako kahit sabihin na relax lang ako pero at the back of my mind ang dami kong worries. Ang dami kong inaalala at ang dami kong grudges sa mga nasa paligid ko. I think its time for me to unload. Prayer ko lang sana tumigil na rin yung mga toxic people na walang magawa sa buhay. Kahit kasi ignore mo sila in some ways affected ka pa rin eh. At some point of their lives marealize naman din sana nila yung value ng privacy at respect sa personal matters ng mga tao.

Ayoko na nga nag uumpisa na naman ang stress sa isip ko. Ayoko na mahal ma-ospital.

Sorry na lang! Bahala na si Batman, Robin, Superman sama na natin si Harry Potter sa birthday ko.

Happy birthday to me na lang!

Thank you pa rin kay Lord for His miracles.

October 2, 2008 - Birthday and Christmas Wishlist 2008

Thank God this year I will be celebrating my 30th birthday. Whew.... I can't help it but time is running so so so fast similar to a speedy bullet. Now I am saying goodbye to my 20's and hellow to my 30's.....

Someone has asked me, " What gift do you want to receive on your 30th birthday? ". This is the reason why i am writing this blog, to answer his question and to document my dreams, wishes and visions and to proclaim it with my dearest friends.

I categorized my wishlist into two, the short term and the long term wishes.

The following are my short term wishes, these are some simple things that I want to possess before the end of this year. Some are complicated, some are easy to find and some are just manifestation of being a "lady like" in me.

* A brand new cellphone with remarkable music features.
* A silver ring with cross... ------------>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
* A silver automatic ladies watch. ( this will be my gift to myself)
* A pocket size preferably purple or yellow green colored novena / prayer book.
* A purple colored back pack laptop bag.
* A big purple colored -lavander scented or yellow green colored - lemon scented candle. ( wala lang as i said the lady like in me )
* A box of assorted chocolates ( sana di galing china at contaminated with melamine )

Long term wishes / visions...

Included here were the wishes I have written last March 2007 when I started attending the Kerygma Feast. Highlighted are the ones that have been fulfilled. The honor and praises be to GOD, my only companion.

* I will be totally recovered from my Mama's death meaning I will no longer cry. I will no longer be sad whenever I felt that I miss my Mama. I will remember all her happy days with us. Forget the tragic moments that we experience at VMMC during her last minutes. I will focus on the reality that Mama and Papa are doing well with GOD!

* I will devote enough of my time enhancing my faith in God. I will attend activities that will make me know more about God, about Jesus and about faith.

* I will have my check up within this year. Making sure that I will attend to my health related concerns. I will have my breast cyst checked up and operated when necessary. Attend to relaxing activities such as swimming, nature tripping, jogging and other stuff.

* I will find time wait for the God-given partner. A man who will be at my side whenever I need someone and most likely to be my lifetime partner and the father of my kids. He is a God fearing man, with kindness in his heart, stronger than I am especially in handling problems. ( Some words are omitted for the purpose of privacy. )

* I will have a rewarding career where I will get P __________ of salary per month.

* I will help my brothers and sisters financially.

Additional dreams/ visions written last January 2008

* Become closer to God by religiously devoting my quality time worshiping, praying and serving God through the Church. Attend a yearly retreat and trust God at all times.

* Become a faithful and caring wife to my future husband.

* Become a loving mother of two healthy baby boy and girl.

* Be a blessing to other people by inspiring them of my faith and trust in the Lord.

* Be an entrepreneur. Start my own internet cafe business located in a strategic place with 20 units of computer to begin with.

* Be happy with life by thanking God at all times.

Upon reading my blog about my wishlist please say a short prayer.

" Lord God, I praise and honor your name. I love you so much Lord and I am surrendering all my life to you. Watch over my Birthday and Christmas wish list may all this happen according to your plans in my life. Bless me Lord and all the people who will be reading my blog.

Thank you Lord for the 30 long years! Please give my hugs and kisses to my Mama and Papa. I am sure if they are here with me they will be busy thinking of what food to prepare for my birthday. In your holy name Jesus I pray"

October 1, 2008 - My dream is Real

In picture: Me, Toe and Menchie

What a coincidence!!!!

Month of August when I was invited to attend a wedding of my good friend Menchie at San Agustin Church. She was a good friend, an HR officer at MTC Academy who became my very first friend at MTC. She is petite girl with a sweet smile, as HR officer she always perform her duties as perfectly as possible. One of her beauty regiment is to stay at the sink before starting her work and scrub her face with cotton with soap. ( I am disclosing this one Mench... i love you!!!)

At that time of her wedding I am feeling anti-social. I oftenly go out for socialization. I had a office home- home office habit for several weeks and I think it lasted for a month. To make the story short I did not attend to her wedding. I know that she hated me for that. I sent my wedding gift via courier but she did not say a single word.

For sometime I am texting her with forwarded messages but still I did not get any response. Last week I dreamed of her, I saw her wearing a floral preggy look dress. She is seating somewhere and I am looking at her from a far. Her face and body is the same it is just that her tummy is bigger than the usual tummy that she used to have. In my dream we never got a chance to talk. I am just looking at her I can even remember the color and the design of the maternity dress that she is wearing. The morning after that day I texted her, I said that I dreamed of her being pregnant. I got a response. She said and I quote her " Ms. Rose I am two months pregnant with our honeymoon baby. Ninang ka ha. Kahit wag ka na pumunta sa binyag." I know there is tone sarcastic in her words but I know this girl she is a very sweet and loving person. I was amazed this is the first time that I had a clear vision of my dream and it happened.

Since then on I am trying to remember all my dreams, I remember Toe ( also one of my friend at MTC ) saying " Sana ako rin mapanaginipan mo na pregnant." I just laugh! I wish I can do that and I wish all of my beautiful dreams come true.