The Real Parent.. A Testimony of Love and Faith

The Real Parent
I am writing this testimony to share and realize the value of having our biological parents and our Real Parent as well. Hope this will help us all acknowledge the love and care that our parents have given to us since the day we were created. In honor and memory of my parents – the best parents I ever had… Mama and Papa I miss you… and the unconditional love of our real parent… Our Father
I am the youngest in the family of four, I can say that I am pampered by my parents well since I was the “bunso”. My brother next to me was 11 years older than I am. So during my childhood days talagang baby ako ng parents ko especially my Papa. I can still recall lahat ng gusto ko binibigay. I never asked something that I knew they were not capable of giving. Di naman kasi kami rich para humingi ng sobra. I remember “chocolait” yung nasa bottle ha masayang masaya na ko nun. Then my Mama was a good home keeper as in masarap magluto and make it sure that everything is ok. Simple family masaya… I thank the Lord for that.
During my elementary days I remember I had a dream, my parents died. That was my greatest fear during those days. It gets back into my mind especially in the afternoon that I am with my parents watching tv. At that time of course as a kid I prayed to Papa Jesus na wag naman mangyari yun. I am really afraid that time. One day I have the gutts to tell it to my parents about that dream, at first alam ko ayoko sabihin kasi natatakot nga ako. I told my Mama about it she told me that I should not be afraid of that since all of us will die on the right time. She told me just pray and the Lord will take care of us. Since then medyo nawala yung fear ko as a kid.
Days, months and years went on. Highschool days and college days. I know my parents really tried hard to send me to college. I am aware of that. During highschool days the reward I am giving them is being good at school, atleast kasama ako lagi sa top 10 of the class. I know in that way I made them happy. Although strict ang Papa ko, he doesn’t allow me to join swimming and going out with friends kasi magulo daw baka daw maaksidente or anything. Syempre as teeners medyo magtatampo ka pero not an issue naman sa akin yun. Pag di ako pinayagan ok lang I will just stay home, manood ng TV at gumawa ng kung anu ano. That probably the reason why I am a home body person. I am really attached with my family.
Medyo mahaba ito mga friends… hope you will enjoy. Paki kuha lang ng tissue ang mga emotional dyan J just joking.. kasi naiiyak na ko
To continue…
I was in 2nd year when I got sick and requires medication. Alam kong extra gastos yun pero with the help of prayer gumaling naman ako. That was the time I really see my parents exerted much effort to buy me medicines. Ayaw ng Papa ko na makikitang paubos na yung mga gamot ko, same with Mama. I was 4th year in college when Papa got sick, padalas na ng padalas ang hypertension nya, mild strokes and etc. I remember last sem when he was hospitalized medyo serious yun and di na sya pwede mag work. I am afraid at that time na baka mapa stop ako ng studies. Before I entered college I told my parents that I will look for a part time job, service crew or whatever they did not allow me. Sabi ng Papa ko it will be hard on me. Sila daw bahala. At that time I had the desire to help them. Well siguro the best help was I am always praying for my Papa’s good health. I remember everyday after school I visited St. Claire and asking God for my Papa. By then I was afraid of loosing anybody kasi in my childhood I had that fear.
Time went on, graduated at college. Easily find a job with the help of my mentors from PUP, my professors na nag refer dun sa first work ko. Everything flows smoothly naman minor problems lang sa family at sa love life. Then came a point that my Papa got a stroke. We knew that he has minor strokes before but we know for a fact that this one is a serious one. He got paralyzed then gradually he got comatosed for almost a week. At that time I do not know where we got the strength. The doctor told us that we will just wait for the time he will go. I still recall one struggling day at the hospital. Stroke patients normally gets out of their control. Nag struggle sya, he wanted to get up yet his body cannot. he pushes everybody, the doctors, the nurses kami ng mga sisters ko. At that time Mama is at home to rest same with my Kuya. Kami lang 3 ng sisters ko ang nasa hospital. I remember my eldest sister sings “ theres a place for us”, para lang mag stop si Papa ng struggles nya. Then he stopped were crying kasi we need to transfer him to another hospital na mas complete ang facilities. We cannot transfer him unless his BP goes normal. It was really a traumatic experience for me kasi I really hugged my Papa para mag stop yung struggles nya. Then kinakantahan namin sya. ( I cant imagine how so dramatic sa scenario is pero nakakalungkot ) The doctors also told us that operation has a limited possibility of recovery and it entails big amount of money. We have to decide whether go or not. We prayed together my Mama and my brother and sisters, we offered him to God. Masakit kasi kahit naman may mga little disputes with parents iba pa rin yung andyan sila. Then one Thursday afternoon I went home to get some stuff, mga damit ko kasi I decided to stay at the hospital to accompany my Mama taking care of Papa. On my way back to the hospital with all my stuff I got a call from my Tito saying mag ingat ako. From there I know Papa is gone. Accepted na naman namin that sooner or later it will be that way pero masakit. The rest is history.
Recovery from Papa’s death is not easy for us especially for me and Mama. I lived with them together knowing that I am the only single in the family. My brother and sisters have their own families to live on. With this scene I become more closer to my Mama. We go out together quality bonding time ng mother and daughter. Every Sunday is a day for both of us. May mga tampuhan pero nagkakabati din kami agad. Time pass by I woke up one day my Mama was diagnosed of having Cancer worst stage III going to IV. Since the day I learned that I started praying to God.
Maliang doctors,
maliang diagnosis, its not cancer. I intensely pray everyday na wag muna because I don’t know how to live a life without my Mama around. During the time na unti unti ng bumabagsak ang system nya I prayed beside her, touching her tummy while saying a plead to God na mawala ang cancer sa body nya. Para akong bata na nagsusumamo na
sanamaalis ang sugat sa Mama ko. During those times I hide my emotions to my Mama. I don’t like her to see me crying. One time she told me to that when she’s gone I have to live a normal life. She told me to be strong and never give up. My mama taught me how to be strong and how to keep it.
Her stay at the hospital was one of my greatest hopes. Hopes for her to recover to get well . To live and to stay with me for a longer time. Ayoko mawala Mama ko of all people in my life. I can say that I can live and I am living without a special someone but not my Mama. Its painful, its hard it takes a lot of courage.. immeasurable I suppose. Knowing that sooner she will be gone I started reading the Bible. Getting strength and hope from the words of God. There was one time that I am telling my Mama, God is the great healer and He will heal her. I can’t help not to cry dahil I am not losing hope. I know my Mama is not commenting on my gestures dahil sinasabi ko sa kanya na she will stay with us and I do not know how to leave without her. I know she just want to comfort us in a way pero deep in her heart she’s getting tired and weak.
It was a Friday midnight, feast of candelaria when Mama met our Creator. I remember a day before that I stayed with her at the hospital. She told me pa na I should have atleast an hour sleep bago ko pumasok sa office kasi the night before was magulo dahil every hour the doctors, the nurses are monitoring her urine for output. There I saw how strong my Mama is, she get up that Friday morning punta daw sya ng CR kasi sa CR daw she can urinate inspite that she has catheter already. I felt sad pero I have to be strong. Before I left the hospital I hugged her and say that I love her so much. Deep in my heart I whispered na
sanaintayin nya ko pag uwi ko.
Opppssss pause muna naiiyak na ko… J
That Friday afternoon was the most painful day of my life I should say the start of my journey. I got a message from my sister that she was at the ICU. I don’t want to tell the details it will really break my heart. When the doctors told us that she was gone, I and my siblings approached her I told her that she can go and I can take care of myself. I don’t want to say those words pero I have to say it. Assuring her that I will be ok after all these things.
The rest was the most rocky road that I ever traveled. Living physically alone was really aaahh the most painful part. Almost every moment of the day andun sya sa puso mo, andun sa sya tears mo, it even came to the point of me getting tired of crying and I really want to get out of all these things. I am hoping that all was a bad dream and one day I will wake seeing smiles in my face and light in my path.
I search companion, a real companion who will never leave me, who will stay with me 27/7. One who will comfort me and assuring me that I will be ok. Thank God, He is here, He is my companion, He is my real parent, our real parent who never leaves us. I can still remember in one of my intimate prayer I questioned God why He almost got everything, my Papa ( 5 years ago ) , my Mama, some good friends at my work who resigned right in time that I am down, my best friend whom I was not able to talk for so long because of her pregnancy ( she wasn’t able to get to visit her Ninang ( my Mama ) on her wake ), my siblings whom I felt doesn’t even care if I was still alive or if I am still ok.. almost everything. Nothing left..… I left nothing but me and my broken heart… its really painful… its difficult.. The Lord clearly told me in my mind and in my heart,, I got nothing YES that’s real but those are temporal.. HE told me, I got HIM. HE will never leave me at any moment. I got the assurance that HIS love is incomparable. I saw myself crying, crying and crying.. only two phrases came out my mouth “ Lord I Love” and “Lord Thank you”
Until these day that I am writing this testimony I am still on the phase of healing my heart for a loss of a parent, my earthly parent but I believe my real parent is up there just looking and smiling at me… J I am not losing hope… I believe one day real happiness will come my way and it is starting now… I got new good friends in this forum.. and I believe God is sending me people to hug me and tap my shoulder saying to me “ Roselyn, the Lord loves you very much… physically your alone but in spirit your real parent is alive and loving you…”
Sorry if I made you cry ha… lessons learned … Let us all love our parents… They are treasures… Sometimes I envy people who still have both their parents with them. You are blessed… so do I J
Thank you for reading…
God bless us all…
To God I bring back the honor and glory…
To my Papa and Mama … I love you so much… and I miss you.. See you soon…